Humor, Fitness, Life

The attack of the DOMS

Thanks to goals, I’ve been getting back to some hardcore training.

A mixture of powerlifting, boxing, and conditioning. The last two weeks has been all about getting back to basics. Focusing on form, making sure everything is perfect. Last night was the first time, I went back to my normal training. Weights, sprints, and bag work.

Those of you who have spent your first day in the gym, whether it was a few days ago, or years ago, or even when you go hard. You know all about DOMS. And every ounce of hell and pain you go through when they hit. For those that don’t know? It’s Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness.

The workout high is great. Almost too great. You feel like Wonder Woman. You go to sleep content, and wake up satisfied. You sit up. Life it good. Then, your feet hit the ground and you take that first step. The shock alone makes you sit back down and contemplate calling in your own death at work. But since you know they would just laugh at you for using such an excuse, you get up. And each achy step you get a mere inch closer to the bathroom. And when I mean a mere inch, I mean a mere inch. It’s really a shuffle. A very long shuffle. You see the beautiful porcelain goddess. But you know what’s about to happen. The impossibility of sitting down. Just to go to the bathroom. You even debate if it’s really worth it. And wonder if you’re going to be able to get up. I mean, sure, that’s a great excuse! I’m stuck on the toilet. I can see that going really well.

Thanks to the trusty sink, you’re barely able to get back up. So you continue on with your routine. Showering, don’t even bother shaving your legs cause every fiber of your being just can’t fucking move. You even contemplate using your foam roller, it just sits there on the ground as you bend down you change your mind. As you shuffle away, you could have sworn you heard it laugh at you. You carry on your morning, looking the food on the table. “Is it really worth eating?” Just knowing you’ll have to sit on a toilet again. And sitting is a struggle.

Time slowly goes by and walking into work is a struggle. Hell. Who am you kidding. EVERYTHING is a struggle. Getting up and sitting down throughout the day. Making tiny grunts as you attempt to stand or sit without moving like you’re a hundred years old. All while your co-workers laugh at you.

A few hours go by. Ok, it was really eight hours. Work is over and you’re sitting in your car contemplating life when you stare at the door of the gym. Really trying to decide if you want to go in and destroy yourself a little more. After looking over your training journal you realize it’s completely opposite of what you did last night. Which is great! Until you wake up the next morning.

Repeating everything above.

This is the life of being into fitness. You are forever going to be sore. When training starts to get easy and you’re less and less sore, you amp up your training again. Then repeat the whole fucking process. Welcome to the fit life.

To kind of aid you in the recovery process here are some things that I do. Mostly so I can use the toilet again and not be terrified to eat:

-          Soak in a hot Epsom salt bath

-          Stretch before training, after training, in the morning when you can as much as possible.

-          Never stop moving. The moment you stop moving and get back into a routine is the moment life is going to suck.

-          Drink some BCAAs. I usually drink some after my workout and throughout the day. When it’s an extra heavy day, which lately feels like all of the time, I usually toss a couple scoops in my gallon jug and just drink that. Here is my favorite kind.

Now, I’m going to be taking some of my own advice. A nice hot Epsom salt bath.

What do you use for recovery?

Kristy Kronas is a Writer, Photographer, and Certified Personal Trainer in the burbs of Chicago. She is a single parent and author with a children's book almost finished! She has a passion for lifting, boxing, kayaking, and a hatred of running. If you have any questions, comments, or just want to say hi, shoot her an email!




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