5am - Wake up. Go down to the basement, lift weights.
6h30am - Go upstairs and get ready for work.
7am - Wake up Kairi and get her ready for school. Spend fifteen minutes arguing with her that a tank top and shorts is not acceptable when it’s thirty degrees outside. Let her stand there and cry telling me “I don’t understand.”
7h20am - Rush through breakfast, pack lunches, kiss grandma good-bye and go to school, then work. Work all day.
4h30pm - Kairi comes to the office, we head home. I make dinner for both of us, something not green and having to know psychically (yes, psychically) what she wants. Because if it’s not right, it’s a tantrum or crying fit. Do homework. Spend family time together: TV, Read, Uno, or Wii.
8h45pm - Quarter to nine, she goes to bed. Laptop open, too tired to get work done. Push through
11pm - Fall asleep.
5am - Wake up. Run 3 miles. Try to run. Cry halfway through, because running is a struggle. Walk home.
6am - Study or work on the gym and/or personal training plans.
6h30am- Get ready for work.
7am - Get Kairi up and ready for school. Less of a battle. She finally listens to me and wears a normal outfit.
7h20am - Eat breakfast, prep lunches and go to school and work. Work all day. Staring at a computer. Mindless.
6pm - Come home, lift, clean, conditioning, clean some more, get ready for trivia. Only if, it’s a trivia night. If not, study or work.
11pm - Sleep.
7am - Wake up. Get ready for work, eat breakfast, clean up, get lunch, clean up some more. Go to work.
5pm - Come home, with Kairi. Dinner, once again. A fight on what she wants to eat. If it’s nice out, go for a walk. Come home, do homework. Argue with her on her homework. And why she can’t play on the computer during the week. Bed time after family time.
11pm - Sleep.
5am- Wake up. Run 3 miles. Make it to the halfway point, question my sanity. Head home.
6am- get ready for work early, prep lunches. Try and get a head start on the day. Watch Skitz, her cat, try waking her up.
7h45am - out the door after breakfast, which runs more smoothly than most days.
5pm - home from work. Down a protein shake. Train.
7pm - Finish training. Eat some real food. Study or work.
11pm - Sleep.
5h30am - Wake up and get ready for work. Eat breakfast quick. Let out Coco. Make sure she doesn’t piss off my grandma. Get her food ready for her.
6h30am - Leave for work.
3h30pm - Come home from work. If Kairi’s home, homework and snack. If not, train.
6pm - Dinner. Argue for an hour and a half about some different color in her food that she refuses to eat. She eats it anyway with tears flowing down her face.
7pm - Still sunny out. Go for a walk or play outside. If it’s raining, board games.
9h30pm - Kairi goes to bed. I go to the basement to train.
Midnight - Sleep.
7am - Wake up. Go to boxing or condition in the basement, while my grandma watches Kairi for an hour and fifteen minutes. That's only if I go to boxing. Run errands, family time, tantrums, and repeat.
11pm - Sleep.
4h40am - Wake up. Run and not die. Long run day. I curse the world through each and every step. Pretty sure if any traffic drives by the look at me like I’m crazy.
6am - Come home, lay down. Kairi wakes up.
7am - Breakfast time, family time, meal prep, family time, clean, family time.
8h30pm - Bed time. For both of us.
This is my life. As a mom. A single mom. Yes, I have my grandmother and my daughter’s father is in her life. So she’s not home every single night. But this is my life. I work a job to pay the bills and put food on the table. If I didn’t live with my grandmother, we would probably be in a tiny one bedroom apartment, because that’s all I can afford. I travel, I do races, I train. When my daughter is home with me, I make sure to spend time with her, I make sure that when I train I train when she's asleep or not home, it's rare I go out to an event when she's home. If I do go out and she's home, she's watched by my grandmother.
People are constantly telling me how to live my life. They’re constantly telling me what I should be doing. That I should be getting married, that I should be in a better position with a company, that I shouldn’t be lifting weights, or that training is a waste of time, that cardio is the only way to lose weight. But let me tell you something. Now before I continue, I’m excluding my grandmother. She helps with what she can. Watches Kairi for me when I'm at work and there is no school or when I go to a boxing class. And I am completely grateful for all of the help she’s given me. But for all of the other fuckers who like to think they have a say in my life: Do they put gas in my car? Cook dinner for us every night? Pay our bills? But food? Help clean? And anything else that’s part of my day to day living? NO! They do not help with shit.
The only person that matters to you, is you. If you have kids, yes they matter. And yes, you have to raise and take care of your kids and make sure they don’t turn out like assholes. That is normal. But if you’re a single mom, like me, and someone tells you that you work too much or train too much. What you do, is none of their business. It is your business alone.
For the last seven years of my life, I have been told I need to get married. Find a nice guy that will take care of me and Kairi. That I shouldn’t work and I should focus on my daughter. Even though yes, that would be amazing. It’s a luxury I can’t afford. At all. I don't get child support, I don't get government support. I'm doing this on my own. In the beginning I couldn’t even afford day care, still can't. Then I was told that I should focus on getting skinny to attract a man. Maybe not be so tomboy-ish. Do my hair more, dress nice more, wear makeup more. Everyone, well not everyone, but a lot of people telling me what to do. Then I hear the “you spend too much time in the gym.” So I changed my schedule to accommodate my daughter's schedule. Then I get told I train too much, I lift too heavy, I really should act more like a lady. I dated a guy for three months that would always tell me a woman should always cook and clean for her man. Now you know why it only lasted for three months. I am none of these things that people want me to be. So then one day, about two or three years ago, it hits me. Why am I trying to be something I’m not? Why not focus on being what I am? Life changed. It got better, and I got happier.
I made a post on Instagram. Pretty sure if you look at the IG reel on my website, you’ll see it. I questioned the world: What is the purpose of a woman? I knew my own answer. But I’m not psychic, even though my daughter thinks I am. So I wanted to hear what other people had to say. Nothing. Crickets. Not a single response except for mine, which said to message me if you don’t feel comfortable posting in front of whoever reads it.
This post, this particular post stems from two different events that happened in one day. The first, an article about how Kim Kardashian thinks it’s “Empowering” to show off her tits and saying that’s how women are empowered. This article was not in favor of Kim, let me just point that out right now. And you can find it here. Then, in said article, there was a twitter post from her calling out Bette Midler to do the same, then added a “j/k.” First off. Bette Midler is an amazing, talented, beautiful and just absolutely incredible human being. Kim K. Is not. She got popular for being a socialite. Marrying Kayne West. And having a kid named North. Who, thanks to social media, forgot her in the hotel. The cameraman, caught the whole thing on film. As a mom, I understand this happening. But also as a mom, I would never let this happen. Kim K. is not empowering. Classy women, like Emma Watson, Kate Winslet, Angelina Jolie, and Bette Midler are. And not just these women. Any woman who tries to make the world a better place. There are other ways to empower women.
The other incident. I posted a quote saying how mom’s should take care of themselves first, that families need them. A few comments later, I removed it. First off, I didn’t create the image. I shared it from another page. Second, it brought me to the question, what is the purpose of a woman?
And I wanted to know what people’s opinions are. Not a single person responded to that. So maybe one day, I’ll repost it and bring back the question.
Here’s my answer. A woman can be anything she fucking wants to be. A chef, a scientist, a doctor, a mom, a WWE Diva (per my daughter), anything. Nothing should hold a woman back. For years, I’ve been told that a woman should have children, and take care of the household. This is their sole task in life. To raise children. Not, fight for world peace, or to run for senate, or be one of the best engineers out there. None of that. But just raise children.
So for years, the idea of marriage and having kids was a priority. Now. It’s not. I’m my own person. My life is different now, and so are the lives around me. The friends I have, the people I follow and believe in. It’s all different. I follow people who are inspiring, from the fitness model/athlete/entrepreneur, who’s running 280 miles to support a cause she believe in, to the local boxing coach, who everyday finds ways to empower women one punch at a time, and off to another entrepreneur who is starting her own clothing line, or the mom of three boys who inspires me to be a better person everyday and even to the little seven year old, who yes has given me grey hair before I turned forty, but pushes me to better than who I was yesterday.
The point is. Be who you want to be and support other women. Lift them up, don’t bring them down. And before you’re quick to judge, why don’t you walk several miles in their shoes first before you open your own mouth. Facts over here-say.
Don’t be what society wants you to be. Because society is fucked up and people’s view on how others should be, needs to change.
Kristy Kronas is a Certified Personal Trainer in the burbs of Chicago. She is a single parent and author with a children's book being published this fall! She has a passion for lifting, boxing, kayaking, and a hatred of running. Watch out for her new venture this September when she launches a daily podcast called the 'Daily Donut.' If you have any questions, comments, or just want to say hi, shoot her an email!